Hello 2021

How are we arrived here already?
I still remember waking up in the first morning of 2020, rain falling lightly. And I received news about flooding in the neighborhood, Tangerang Selatan and some vast Jakarta area. What do you mean it’s not happening 3 days ago? No?

Do you have occasional anxiety?
All your plan hasn’t been workout as you expect. Whatever it is if you still here and staring this very word, most of those probably can always be rewritten, replanned, remake, altered. I’m sorry if your people is among of those whose life story has to ended because of this corona virus pandemic. Or perhaps they are still fighting for their life. We are all tired. I know It’s hard to enter this new year with light heart when bad things still happening around.

Have some donut, have same ice cream, whatever makes you enjoy a tiny bits of life. Feeling a little bit better. Take care of yourself. Hang on to whatever makes you still believe in hope.

I don’t write much this year. Poor my abandoned manuscript. But I baked a hella good cinnamon roll. For a few months since April, I baked cinnamon roll every 3 days. I put them in the freezer when there’s too many for us. And when it’s finished I baked them some more.

Cinnamon RollOne morning I saw chef Noor Tagouri on TV cooking some Korean inspired food? She made Hottoek. She said her Hottoek tasted better than Cinnamon Roll. And it takes shorter time to rise. And it’s fried not baked. Excuse me?
I have to prove it my self. So I made Hottoek.

Hottoek, Korean pancake

It is tasted so good. Mine filled with cashew nut+coconut sugar+cinnamon. I made it every three days. I froze some when it is too many. So I made cinnamon roll and Hottoek every other day for a few weeks.

Adding creamcheese frosting on top of cinnamon roll

I haven’t been outside in a long time. Since March 2020, I only been outside 4 or 5 times. Our grocery supplies comes from Sayurbox, and HappyFresh.

I read some books. But I don’t know why my reading choice seems belong in the depressing end. Perhaps I don’t know how to choose light reading. The lightest reading I enjoy the most this year is Strange Weather in Tokyo from Hiromi kawakami. My not so new favorite Japanese writer beside Banana Yoshimoto.


Do you know me? Do you know any good feeling books that I should read? Choosing what book to read is hard when you stay at home and not inside a bookstore. Sometimes I choose book for pretty covers. Sometime I choose book that nobody hyped about and surprisingly enjoyed later. Most book I chose that way rarely dissapoints. But when you buy online, It’s really depends on whose review you’re reading. What book a lot of people talking. Or perhaps you choose something from the winner or short-listed of something award?

And goodreads app is like a jungle you could easily get lost. Whose review could you trust their opinion? Perhaps I need to follow reviewer blogs? But were they honest? Or are they paid to say good things about certain books. What about good books that doesn’t really get many reviews, if at all and doesn’t really win anything? Book choice is very personal. And over hyped book turn off my curiosity most of the time.

As you see choosing book online is another endless and unnecessary struggle these time. At the end of the day whatever you do, what you picks up for your next reading doesn’t matter. As long as you still able to choose and feel something. The bar is low these day. 

I have some TBR books I got from various place online, Bookdepository, periplus online, gramedia online, also some used bookstores in Tokopedia. I hope I have the energy to read and review them.

I fell twice in the kitchen in the past three months. The last time was last week. Slipped on wet floor. I am fine, only got some bruises. Sometimes my mind went blank when I was too tired. Feel nothing, see nothing. The next day after I fall. I dropped a bowl and got myself a cut. I have no helper other than a woman who work next door whose agree ironing our laundry every 3 days. I guess I will order more ready to eat and frozen food online from now on and utilizing my microwave to its full potential.

Will we get vaccinated this 2021. Last time I read it will need 2 years for all Indonesian to be vaccinated. Wouldn’t it mean it will be at least years until we all back spreading our life out there as it used to. But we all know we will never be the same as we ever been right? Or we do? Oh this uncertainty.

Have you read The Road by Cormac McCarthy? I read it once a long time ago. Indonesian version, published by GPU, translated by the passing Sapardi Djoko Damono. At the last part of the novel there’s a conversation between a boy and his father.

I want to be with you.
You cant.
Please.
You cant. You have to carry the fire.
I dont know how to.
Yes you do.
Is it real? The fire?
Yes it is.
Where is it? I dont know where it is.
Yes you do. It’s inside you. It was always there. I can see it.”

Excerpt From: Cormac McCarthy. “The Road.”

So how are you this 2021?

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