Do I what??

Recently I popped this idea to my hubby: I want to buy a guitar.
And his reaction was: You want to be an artist? It was too late you know!

And I’m like… what a guitar has something to do with being a (professional-get-paid) artist?

I just need guitar to play music. Period!
(Well “learning” to play music in a guitar actually. I love learning new things.)

I never had any music lesson in my life before.(Exclude reading music sheet and sing in a choir at school) But I believe I always have a strong music sense. I was vocalist in a band in high school. And I can play song on keyboard just by feeling.

I recall that I’ve been singing before I’m able to read. I remember my very first experience singing outside my house was on my cousin’s birthday party. I was 4 years old. It was the first birthday party that I’ve ever attended in my life (so memorable. As comparison, me myself had never having any birthday party. like ever.)

After singing happy birthday and blow the candle, the kids on the party were encouraged to sing. And then with this child sense of nothing except knowing she like singing, I stood up in front of the crowd, singing loudly, a song that I always sang everyday at home.

…kulihat awaaan… seputih kaaapaaas..

Suddenly I realized all people’s eyes were on  me.
Nobody has ever been paid attention to me when I sing at home. (I ALWAYS singing)
Then this feeling hit me. I was shock, and embarassed. I wasn’t used to the attention.
I was frozen. No more sound come out my mouth. I sat, and hid my face on my lap. And cried.

I don’t remember what happened after I cried. Probably I just went home with mbak Dewi ( Omg I still remember the name of the helper that accompanying me that day?..) But I still can felt the shock from that moment until today.
Thanks God, it didn’t stop me to raise my voice.

I grew up being a shy girl, but I turn out to be somebody else when I sing.
I always sing aloud in front of my class, on the bathroom, on the stage.
It was a release for me.

Like any other creativity I’ve done, singing gives me pleasure. And yes, I do singing just for the sake of pleasure – like we’re not always make love to  produce kids? –

So no, I don’t plan to be a (professional) artist!
I just want to sing and play this song.

on guitar because we don’t have karaoke ^_^

(Are you kidding me?)


2 thoughts on “Do I what??

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